Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video. I get asked a lot, “When can I tell if my child’s ready to potty train?” That’s a tough question to answer but I’m going to give you at least three tips here of things to watch for, look for, in your child that will be an indicator at least that your child’s ready and able to potty train.

The first thing is can they follow a few simple steps of instruction? For example if you say to your child, “Hey, go get your shoes.” Can they walk over and get their shoes? Can you say, “Can you go give this to dad and come back.” One or two simple sets of instructions, can they follow it? Do they know what you’re talking about? Can they comprehend?

Most children by about 18-months can do exactly that. Most people find that that’s an easy one. “Yes, she can. She definitely understands way more than she can communicate and can follow some simple instructions.” Another thing to ask yourself and this is by far the most important one so really get clear about this. Are you ready to potty train?

That’s the first thing I always ask everybody when they ask me that question. I’m, “Well, are you ready?” Because it’s really parent driven. This is not a child directed event this is parent directed. If you know you’re going away for two weeks, in a month, maybe now is not the right time. If you just had a brand new baby now is not the right time. You really need to get clear, do you have some space? Can you commit to doing this? Are you ready?

Because what I find is really important is you can’t back down around this. Many people they start to potty train really halfheartedly. It doesn’t go as well as they were planning or as quickly as they hoped. They give up and they go back to diapers and they do this a few times. That is really the worst thing you can do because what it tells your child is you don’t really mean business about this. “Yeah, I’ll try it. I don’t want to.” You give up and this gets to be a bit of a vicious cycle that you go through.

Because a lot of children and I’ll be honest with you. A lot of children don’t want to potty train, right? It means I have to think about, “Do I have to go to the bathroom? It means I have to stop playing with this really cool thing I’m playing with and go off to the bathroom with you. Spend five minutes there and wash my hands and do all these chores. It’s much easier to just do my business in my diaper whenever I feel like it. I don’t have to stop doing anything.” Given the choice there’s not a lot of toddlers who’d raise their hand to go, “Oh, yes please. Let’s start the potty training process.”

You’ll make the decision. Once you’ve the decision you are sticking to it and you are doing this, right? That will tell your child that there really is no option here. That this is a nonnegotiable for you and they’re going to get in line with it. There might be some resistance. Again, a lot of children resist this and you’re going to have to push through it anyways.

Here’s another little tip. No child is going to have permanent damage or psychological damage around potty training. If you have to put a little bit of pressure on and they seem upset for a few days or even a few weeks about certain times they have to go and they don’t want to. That’s okay I don’t want you to worry. They will get the hang of this. They will become independently potty train. They will go off to the bathroom on their own. They will not have issue around going to the bathroom. Again, it’s a biological experience that we all have to deal with. They will come around, they really will. Please don’t worry about that.

Another thing you want to watch for is getting your child involved in the process. I see a lot of parents doing all the work, right? “I take you to the bathroom. I pull down your pants. I put you on the toilet. I wash your hands. I do it, I do it, I do it.” I would encourage you to get your child involved in the process as quickly as possible because the ultimate goal is that she becomes independent around this. That she goes off to that bathroom all by herself and you don’t have to be involved at all.

Again, it takes more time and you’ll have to be really patient and help your toddler learn to pull down her pants and get them back up again and all the steps that are involved. If you do the front work and you really get her involved in this, you will find that it speeds up the process and gets you to your ultimate goal which is potty independence.

All right, I hope that helps you here today. Thanks for watching, sleep well.