The One Thing You Should NEVER Do at Bedtime if You Want Your Baby to Sleep

If I can give one piece of general advice for parenting, it’s routine. I know you’ve heard it before, but let me repeat it: Routine, routine, routine. Kids thrive when they know what is expected of them and when. The world can feel chaotic and unpredictable even for adults. Imagine what it’s like for kids. They are learning new and exciting things every day, from motor skills to new words. This can be exciting, but there is a flipside. It can be scary to realize that crawling on the stairs can make you fall or pulling the cat’s tail can make the cat scratch.

Having daily routines creates a sense of safety in your child’s life. It helps them to know that when they wake up they get to watch their TV show for half an hour and have their toast with the crusts cut off and their applesauce in their special Batman bowl. It helps them keep at least some of the aspects of their life in control.

The same holds true for bedtime. If you let your toddler go to bed at 7:00 one night and 9:30 the next, and you sometimes read to her and you sometimes sing a special song for her while she brushes her teeth, you are opening yourself up to major bedtime drama. Your child will have expectations that don’t get met and she will be confused and disappointed and will push your buttons to try and get what she wants.

Think about your own bedtime rituals. Maybe you shut off your computer or the TV, brush your teeth, wash your face, get yourself a glass of water, climb into bed and read a chapter of a book before you switch off the light. Or maybe you have a bath, drink some tea and listen to soft music. Or do a cucumber face mask and a crossword. Whatever you do, it’s helping to get you ready for sleep.

But my kid’s only a baby, you might be thinking. What does a baby care about routines?

Routine helps train your body and brain that something is about to happen…whether that’s going to sleep or leaving the house for the day. Bedtime routines signal to your child that it’s time to start calming down. Even when they’re tiny, setting up those signals can be very effective.

Here are a few things you can try for your baby at nighttime:

1. Make sure they are well-fed
2. Give them a warm, soothing bath
3. Put some soft, cozy pajamas on
4. Read them a story
5. Lay them in their crib
6. Sing them a song
7. Turn out the light and say goodnight

By repeating these steps every night at the same time, your baby will start to learn that then when that bath happens, it’s almost time for go to bed. I’m not saying it will work like magic and your child will just close his eyes the second the light goes out. But it will get you well on your way to establishing healthy sleep habits.

But let me just tell you the one way you can mess up all that hard work you did creating a lovely little evening ritual…

Do NOT rock or feed your baby to sleep.

If you are going to rock her or nurse her until she falls asleep, you might as well ditch all the other steps, because the only thing your baby will start depending on to fall asleep is you.
Your child has the natural ability to learn to fall asleep on her own. Your job is to create a quiet, comfortable space and routine that makes that possible. And then you need to let her do the rest.

If both you and your baby are not sleeping, you may want to check out The Sleep Sense Program. It’s a step-by-step guide, designed to help get your child sleeping 11-12 hours a night. Click the button below to get it now.

Yes, help my baby sleep!