Teaching Your Child How to Talk to Adults

As parents, we often tell our kids “Don’t talk to strangers!”

Fair enough. After all, we’re just trying to keep them safe from people who may try to hurt them.

Unfortunately, this is also one of the most confusing and contradictory things we can say to our kids.

Is it really true that they shouldn’t talk to peole they don’t know?

How about a new kindergarten teacher? Or the kind old lady who tells your daughter what a lovely hat she has on? Or your boss when he comes over for dinner with his wife?

It’s frustrating when your kids won’t respond to adults who say “Hi” or ask them questions. You might even discipline them for it! So how do you redefine the whole “stranger danger” concept when it comes to well-meaning adults in your community? Here are some tips:

1. Explain to your child that when they are with you or any adult you have left her in the care of, it’s safe to talk to strangers who say hello or say something nice to them. Tell her that manners are important and that if someone asks a question, it’s polite to respond.
2. Tell your child it doesn’t feel good to be ignored. To demonstrate: ask your child to ask you a question and then don’t respond. Ask him how it made him feel.
3. Take personality into account. Some kids are chatty and some are shy. If your child is shy, tell her she doesn’t have to have a big conversation. But you do expect her to respond if she’s spoken to.

Quick Tip: Conversation is an art. If you want your child to learn to take it one step further, teach him to answer questions and then ask one in return.

When you say, “Good morning, how are you feeling today?” prompt him to return the question back to you. If you practice at home where he feels most comfortable he’ll soon feel confident enough to talk to “good” strangers in public.

Now it’s YOUR turn! What do you tell your kids when it comes to talking to “strangers”? Share your advice with other parents in the ‘Comments’ section of this page. (I’ll choose one commenter to win something cool…)

Oh, and speaking of manners, make sure to check out Kids: The Manual if you’re looking for more information on raising confident, strong, and well-mannered kids. More info right here…