Seven Tips to Handle Your Toddler’s Mood Swings

There are several things to look at when looking at toddlers and mood swings. Several are obvious, and several are not so obvious. I will start with the obvious.

1. Foods – Different foods can affect our children’s moods. Also, understand if your kids are eating enough during the day and at certain times. You can do a food mood journal to make sure that your child is eating enough food during the day and to see if any food is causing mood swings.

2. Sleep – Toddlers need a lot of sleep. Make sure that your toddler is getting [enough] sleep at night and during the day. All children are different when it comes to nap times. My twin sons needed three-hour naps, and my daughter needed a 20-minute rest. When our children get tired, mood swings can occur.

3. Minerals – Is your child getting enough minerals through their diet? Many of the children I work with need magnesium, trace minerals, and essential fatty acids. If you’re not getting it in their diets, there are ways to get it in through liquids.

4. Change – Any change in the routine of the household? This could include a new baby, moving to a new house, a different work schedule, a different caregiver. It’s great to do social stories with our children; you can write little books with stick figures explaining the change that’s going to happen and that, in the end, your child will be happy with the change.

5. Tech – Do not let your child be on technology. Get rid of all the toys that have instant gratification; push a button, and lights, sounds, and music happen. Are they toddlers who need to learn how to play with toys? They need to be exploring. Toddlers can become addicted to technology, and when you take it away, there can be mood swings. It is extremely addicting even to little kids.

6. Growth – There is a certain system throughout their bodies that can cause our children to have mood swings. The system [is] called proprioception. If there is a growth spurt, our children do not feel secure in their bodies and can feel discombobulated, and this can cause mood swings. The way to help this growth is to tap your child’s joints, let them take baths, and do lots of hugging and squeezing.

7. Boredom – Toddlers’ jobs are to move, explore, and learn. Take them outside into nature. Let them run around and climb. Take them to music shows and library times. Read books to them. Get down on the ground and play with them. Give them toys that have learning curves to them. Blocks, Legos, Look into Montessori toys and TEACCH toys for ideas.

Six Ways to Help Your Toddler’s Mood Swings

1. Do your best to stay calm. If you are having difficulty staying calm when faced with a toddler’s emotions, make sure the child is safe and focus on what you need to do to get calm (deep breaths, screaming into a pillow, etc.) Even if you walk away, make sure you and the toddler can see each other for each other’s sense of safety. You can even quickly tell your toddler what you are doing by saying, “I need to calm down.” Remember that it is normal for toddlers to be human and have emotions.

2. Show Your Toddler How to be Calm – Babies and toddlers can’t “self-soothe.” They are learning how to manage their emotions by what you teach them and what you model for them. It is important to co-regulate with your toddler in these moments to teach them about emotions. If you can be calm, maybe you can calmly sit with your toddler as they have their melt-down.

Maybe you need to model how to practice being calm with a specific co-regulation activity such as walking, listening to music, swaying, singing, etc. Co-regulation is about working together to stay calm as a pair. Remember, toddlers are watching and learning from you.

3. Follow Your Toddler’s Lead – When you are calm, you can be more in control and assess the situation so that you can better provide what your toddler needs at that moment. Just as it changes for us as parents, it can change for toddlers too. Some days they might want to be hugged while they are crying. Some days they don’t want to be touched.

Don’t take any of this personally – They are learning what works best for them. Remember to be in control of the situation by reading their non-verbal cues and leading the way, not controlling by demanding them to act a certain way.

4. Label the Emotion – After you and the toddler are calm, you can start to process what happened, with the first step being to label the emotion(s). They are learning from you about their big emotions, including how to label them. Emotional vocabulary is absolutely an important part of their language development.

For example, “it seems that you are sad” or “you look mad.” It may be too difficult for some toddlers to answer, “how are you feeling.” Remember that they may first need you to label, then they can start to label on their own.

5. Problem Solve – A toddler can now be ready to learn what to do with these emotions. A younger toddler may need more support in coming up with ideas. An older toddler may be able to suggest ideas, and you can offer suggestions for a more feasible compromise, if necessary.

Remember, toddlers developmentally are seeking autonomy (what can I control?). This doesn’t mean that they get to be in control, but they need to have a sense of control. The best way to do this is to offer a couple of choices that you are comfortable with and add any limits. For example, “you can’t have candy for a snack, but you can have yogurt or granola bar,” or “We can’t go to the park right [now], but we can go another time.” Remember, it’s a dance of helping the child have some autonomy in how to problem solve, but you are in control of the limits.

6. Offer Praise – Your toddler just did some hard work to learn a new skill. Give them a “good job!” just like any other new skill. And you did some tough parenting work. Praise yourself for your hard work as well.

Five Tips For Handling Toddler Mood Swings

As a parent, it’s important to stay calm and understanding while also establishing boundaries. Here are a few tips that have helped me when my toddler is in a mood:

1. Don’t take their behavior personally. Toddlers can be incredibly fickle, and their moods can change in an instant. It’s important to remember that their bad moods are not a reflection of you as a parent.

2. Try to distract them with something positive. When my toddler is in a bad mood, I try to distract her with something she enjoys, like a favorite toy or a fun game. This can help take her mind off of whatever is causing her to be in a bad mood.

3. Avoid reacting negatively to their behavior. If you respond to their tantrums or mood swings with anger, it will only escalate the situation. Instead, try to stay calm and understanding, even if it’s difficult.

4. Establish boundaries. It’s important to establish boundaries with your toddler, even if they’re in a bad mood. This will help them learn how to express their emotions appropriately.

5. Seek professional help if needed. If you’re struggling to deal with your toddler’s mood swings, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with additional tools and strategies for dealing with this challenging behavior.

Connect With Your Toddler

Small children learn how to regulate their emotions from their parents. Are you walking around complaining or criticizing things? Because if you are, so will your toddler. When you are tempted to complain, instead ask yourself what your unexpressed desire behind the complaint is. This not only allows you to keep your sanity intact, but it also models for your child how to manage their emotions as well.

Remember to also connect with your toddler. The secret to happy parenting is a close relationship with your child. Without that bond and trust, you will have little influence over your kid. This is where you find parents screaming that their little ones don’t listen, and rather than trying to establish that bond, they try to use control to force the kids to do something. No one likes to be controlled, including little humans. The secret is to inspire them, and you do that by connecting – by creating a close relationship.

Encourage Communication and Provide Choices

When it comes to dealing with toddler mood swings, patience and understanding are key. It’s important to remember that toddlers are still learning how to control their emotions, so mood swings are a normal part of their development.

There are a few things you can do to help your toddler:

Encourage communication: Help your toddler put their feelings into words. This will allow them to better understand and cope with their emotions. Encourage them to use phrases such as “I’m feeling frustrated because…” or “I’m sad because…”.

Provide choices: When presented with choices, Toddlers usually feel more in control of their situation and surroundings.

Finally, make sure to give your toddler plenty of love and attention throughout the day. This will help counteract any negative feelings [they] may be experiencing. With a little patience and effort, you should be able to help reduce the intensity and frequency of your toddler’s mood swings!

Go With The Flow

A toddler’s mood can change with the drop of a hat. One way to help handle them is to go with the flow, stay calm, and try to anticipate the mood swings. It can be frustrating when a toddler’s mood swings quickly. If you stay calm, it can help calm them down when they get upset. Understanding what may trigger the mood swing can also help. Maybe they get angrier if they are hungry. Make sure to offer them a quick snack or not push off their next meal to help manage their mood swings.