3 myths about being a new mom (that no one ever tells you)

Okay, new mamas, hands up if you read a few books about motherhood while you were pregnant. Or maybe, I don’t know, got a word of two of advice from friends who already have a couple of kids under their belt. Or maybe your mother-in-law.

All of you? That’s what I thought. :)

But until that baby is born, no matter how much reading you’ve done and advice you’ve taken, you’re never really prepared. Becoming a parent is like joining some secret club that nobody is able to fully explain to you until you’re in it.

Listening to moms go on about their baby’s cradle cap or the fact that their baby finally likes puréed yams might have been yawn-worthy before you got pregnant. But now, lucky you! You’re part of the club. And you suddenly want to talk about cradle cap and yams too.

Membership in this club comes with its perks and privileges, but sadly there is also a dark side. Sometimes you can be left feeling somehow inadequate if you don’t think you’re measuring up to the other moms.

So I’m here to tell you to keep your chin up, stick to your beliefs and trust your instincts! And I’m also here to dispel a few common myths that can cause some unhappiness.

Myth # 1: You will absolutely enjoy breastfeeding.

Ha ha! This is a good one. Although this might be true for some women, trust me, it’s normal if you do not hear angels sing every time you breastfeed your baby. This was such an unpleasant surprise to me. I had this vision that I would LOVE breastfeeding, and that it would create an unbelievable bond with my baby, but the truth was I didn’t like it. NOT. ONE. BIT. No one ever told me this might be the case, so when it happened, I thought something must be wrong with me. Not true.

I mean, let’s be practical for a few seconds here. Of course it’s a beautiful, life-sustaining thing. But it also hurts sometimes (especially once your baby starts using you as a teething toy), it’s messy and just downright inconvenient at times. Lots of moms don’t like it, even if they are too scared to tell anyone. If you are one of those moms, it’s okay. You are not alone.

Myth # 2: Other moms will be very supportive.

Mmm…not necessarily. Actually, some new moms can be downright mean and judgy.

In a way, it’s kind of like high school, only instead of fighting over boys and snickering about other girls’ new haircuts, you’re suddenly exposed to snarkiness and sometimes downright wrath over issues like organic baby food vs. non-organic and cloth vs. disposable diapers and vaccine vs. anti- vaccine.

Personally, as a new mother I found this especially true when mentioning that I wasn’t sleeping well. This one makes me sad, because being a new mom is hard, and we all need love and support. When you say, “Hey, I’m really struggling. I’m exhausted, I need to do something about it,” it really doesn’t help to be told that someday you’ll miss those sleepless nights. Nor did it help to be told how terrible I was for considering teaching my baby to sleep better.

Myth # 3: You will lose your social life.

Surprise! This is a positive one.

See, judgy moms aside, you are about to embark on some of the closest relationships in your life. Now that you’ve entered this secret club, there are all kinds of members to choose from, and you all have something in common. Nothing is a better ice-breaker than a baby (remember, you can always use cradle cap and yams to start a conversation).

It’s so much easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger in the park now that you’re carrying a little bundle of joy with you. Parents are naturally curious about other people’s kids and you will literally be stopped in the street by people asking how old your baby is or complimenting her booties.

Being a new mom is rewarding, but it is also challenging and you need to have friends and allies in your corner. Choose wisely, and you will be able to weather the hills and valleys of motherhood together by bonding over tea, calling each other when times get tough, and even scheduling much-needed mom’s nights out from time to time!

While we are on the topic of myths, you may have heard that sleepless nights for you and your baby are all part of this season of life.  Did you know that is a myth? You and your baby do not have to go without sleep.  Check out The Sleep Sense Program, it is a step by step program to help you get your baby sleeping 11 – 12 hours a night!  Click the below to get your copy.

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