It means not giving your 1st grader the answer to a math problem she can’t answer… even though she’s crying about how she can’t do it herself.
It means following through on your threat to leave the birthday party if your toddler hits another child… even though he’s crying about how he won’t do it again.
It means letting your baby cry for a few minutes in her crib to see if she’ll go back to sleep… even though the sound is breaking your heart.
Last week, I received a letter from a mom named “Jennifer” (not her real name.)
Jennifer’s letter started out like this:
Before I tell you my situation, you need to know that I am 100% opposed to any kind of CIO (cry-it-out) method for getting my 22-month-old to sleep. I just won’t do it because I cannot put her through that, not even for a minute. So with that in mind I am not sure if you’ll be able to help me…
She then went on to write three very long desperate paragraphs about how her daughter takes 90 minutes to fall asleep at night, and wakes 4 or 5 times a night and needs to be rocked back to sleep.
She told me that she woke up every day feeling exhausted, and went through the days feeling angry at everyone around there, even her daughter.
She told me that she often yelled and cursed at her daughter (and her husband) during these night-time wake-ups… even though she had never been a “yeller” or a “curser” before her daughter was born.
She told me that her marriage was suffering — in no small part because she and her husband had not shared a bed in 22 months.
Jennifer, you need to do the “hard thing.”
The thing that hurts you, because you don’t want your child to suffer — even for a few minutes.
But would you let your child eat chips and candy for breakfast every morning, no matter how much she cried about not liking cereal or eggs?
Would you let her run out into the road to get her ball? Would it matter if she was crying about how much she wanted her ball?
Of course not.
Because sometimes your child is going to want things that aren’t good for her; or aren’t good for your family.
And in those situations, your only real choice is to do the hard thing.
P.S. Jennifer — or any other parent out there who is nervous to “do the hard thing,” — here’s my offer to you:
Use this link to get a discounted copy of “The Sleep Sense Program.”
Read the first couple of chapters, and have a look at my suggestions for how to get your child sleeping through the night.
(You’ll see that there are a couple of different approaches you can use, depending on your child’s personality. But if you’re concerned about crying, you’ll probably be more attracted to the “stay-in-the-room” method.)
After reading those chapters (which shouldn’t take you more than 30 minutes), decide if it’s something you’re willing to try.
If not, just send me an e-mail or call 206-923-9489 and I’ll promptly and politely refund your purchase.
But if you ARE willing to give it a try, chances are you’ll enjoy the very same results that over 93% of my customers achieve:
A baby or toddler who goes to bed around 7 or 8 in the evening… and wakes around 7 a.m. after an uninterrupted sleep of 11 – 12 hours!
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