My Child Keep Coming Into My Bed!

Please view my video below to learn what to do when your child keeps coming into your bed.

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Questions about your child’s sleep? Advice to give other parents? Join the discussion in the ‘Comments’ section below!

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72 Responses to My Child Keep Coming Into My Bed!

  1. Hello I have a almost two year old son that goes to bed about 7:30pm or 8 pm in his own big boy bed. Then in the Middle of the night he comes in my room and climbs in bed with me and is awake at 6 am Any ideas what I should do.

  2. My (7) yr old daughter wakes up around 2am most days and comes into our bed claiming she’s had a nightmare. This has been going on for years.

    Currently, she sleeps in the same room as her 4 yr old sister. Their beds are pushed together (their choice) and quite often they will sleep in the same bed!

    We have a consistent routine at night – a warm milo (Choc malt drink) followed by the reading of a book. When they’re in bed, we have a nightlight on and a meditation CD playing soflty throughout the night. I also sing a song to them before saying goodnight.

    The 4 yr old will sleep through but not the 7yr old. She’s otherwise a very bright happy child. I’ve tried treats/rewards, I’ve tried punishment i.e. no TV the next day. I just don’t know what else to do. I’m worried that she’s not getting enough quality sleep.

  3. My 3 1/2 yr old has been waking up between 1 and 6 times each night for the past 2 months. She goes to bed on her own at 7.30pm and wakes up around 7am but in between, she will run to my room every couple of hours and need me to take her back and tuck her in. I have tried rewards and consequences, reducing liquid intake before bed and explained to her the importance of sleep. Nothing works- pls help!

  4. My 26month old will fall asleep in his bed jst fine, but he wont STAY in his bed. he usually wakes up round 1am and crawles into my bed. if im already asleep i dont even notice it till the mornin when he wakes up round 8.
    but if im awake i put him back in his bed, and he jst comes right back 2hrs later after he had already fallen back asleep.
    how can i keep my son in his own bed all night?

  5. Our baby has never really slept great but at 13months suddenly could be put down awake in his cot, put on some calming music and he would go off to sleep on his own and sleep 80% of the time all night. Now at 17months he stopped doing this even though we didnt change his routine or anything at all, just trying to take him towards his bedroom he would start screaming???? he was hysterical throughout the bedtime routine and sometimes taking me 2 hours to get him into bed, tried the controlled crying which after an hour or so he fell asleep but woke right up again 4 or 5 times a night. he is now 18months and things havent got better so we decided to get him a toddler bed, but still the same thing and now he comes into our room too when he wakes!!!! Please help, everynight is spent trying to get him to bed and then constantly trying to keep him there when he wakes through the night, i dont know what else to do, we dont pat or rock him when he goes down just sit by the side of the bed.

  6. My son is now 7, he was a good sleep, for a short period of time, and now he isn’t so good. He wants to sleep with me always. I tell him he can’t, I explain why, I offer rewards, so far nothing has helped. I will put him in his room, with me sitting in a chair, he falls asleep quickly, then I leave. He gets up usually once a night, occasionally, he’ll go to the bathroom, the go back to bed, but for the most part, he’ll wake me, ask if he can sleep with me, I’ll tell him no, take him back to his bed, sit back in the chair, he’ll fall back asleep quickly and that’s it for the night, he’s out cold to the next morning. My husband wants to lock him out of our room and let him scream it out, which he will, I did try that once. If reasoning won’t work, now what?

  7. My daughter is 3, she had really good sleep habits, fell asleep alone, slept all night, it was great. Now the problem we have been having for the past couple of months with her is waking all hrs of the night, multiple times a night and comes into our room and tells us she cant sleep. Now, what i don’t know is, is she NOT sleeping? laying in her bed for hrs and is finally coming to us and telling us she cant sleep? That would break my heart. Or, is she just simply waking up and instantly coming into our room and telling us she cant sleep. It’s very frustrating she usually ends up getting yelled and her crying. I don’t like to do that to her. Since she isn’t allowed in our bed at night, she asks if she can go out to the living room and watch TV, I’ve let her do that. I think she falls asleep rather quickly, altho, I’m not sure. Is something like that is ok to do?

  8. My son is almost 5 years old and has woken early since birth. By early, I mean 5 am or 5:30 am if we are lucky.

    We have tried the following:

    *blackout blinds AND shutters together
    *white noise machine
    *earlier bedtime
    *later bedtime
    *changing of nap start time and duration (he no longer naps)
    *changing his eating time in the morning/evening
    *changing diaper before we go to sleep (thinking maybe he was waking up because he felt too wet).
    *changing WHAT he is eating
    *having daddy get up with him (in case he was waking up just for mommy time-he already gets plenty during the day)
    *loads of physical activity, by loads I mean 3-4 hours straight every day at a park or on a hike.

    Nothing works. We do not sleep with him. If he wakes up at 5 am, I tell him mommy does not get up before 6. We go downstairs (his little sisters are sleeping in the room next to his so we don’t want him waking them). When we get downstairs, I keep all of the lights off and lay on the couch with a blanket. He gets up and checks the microwave clock and let’s me know when it’s “six o clock time”. Then he’s allowed to turn on the lights and have breakfast.

    I’d prefer 7 am but I’d take 6 am or 5 am. Any hope for me or should I just look forward to the day when he can function independently while I sleep?


  9. i am at a loss!! i have a two year old boy who falls asleep in his own bed but wakes up 2 hours later to come into bed with me! we both dont get any rest this way! i have a difficult job that i need to be well rested for. i also find him very cranky since this has started. i have attempted to keep putting him back into his room saying nite nite and rubbing his back but this will continue all night. I attempted letting him cry it out but that didnt last long because he disturbs his 10 year old sister who has to get up for school. at his age im unsure how to explain it to him or attept a reward system. i would let him cry it out but im afraid of the length of time this will take and the loss of sleep me him and his sister will have! a baby gate is not an option his very aggressive and a big strong boy and can take it down. also dont feel good about leaving the door shut cause he will just bang and scream. we are in an apartment and im the only resident with kids so i worry about the screaming. i really feel he is becomming very attached to me and cant let me out of his sight. for the sanity of me and the my daughter i need to know how to teach him to stay in bed all night. a night light only gave him light to play and the light was the toy!! im really struggling with my with my son! he also fight and screams everytime i try to dress him or change him. its a wrestling match and hes 43 pounds of solid muscle. he screams and whines at me all the time and hits me and himself head bangs when upset!! hes so cute just a heart of glass and behaviors that i dont know where they came from and how to attempt to teach a two year old ( dec 12) how to cope and do what he needs to, any advice?

  10. How do I get my daughter to stay in bed past 6am? I’ve tried the clock and treat reward method and all that happens is she appears sometime between 5.30 and 6 and tells me that the clock wont “wake up” I’d just like her to stay in bed an extra30mins or so!!!

  11. My daugther is turning 3 yrs next month. She is a great sleeper, has slept on her own, putting herself to sleep and soothing herself back to sleep on her own since she was 3 months old. She does however, sleep with a soother. She does not have it during the day, she is only allowed to have it to sleep. We told her when she turns 3, she will no longer be allowed to have her soother. She nodds in agreement, but we’re anticipating some trouble! Any advice?

  12. Hi my son is 2 years old and every night he wakes between 11pm and 1am and comes to get in mine bed if i put him back he just screams or if i get him back to sleep in his own bed he wakes up again in a couple hours. please help

  13. Hi Dana…At night I have a sleepless, restless 19 month old who has not slept more than 6 hours straight since she has been born (and mind you that was just one night). I’m hoping you can help me so that I can help her to get a full night’s sleep. I’m not as concerned about me losing sleep as I am for her growth and development. Here are the facts; she has been breastfed since she was born and although she associates it mainly with comfort and sleeping she is still nursing at this point. I am trying to wean her of this but it is very difficult on her. She also does not like sleeping in her crib at all and so we have many times over allowed her to sleep in our bed. She is currently in our room. Her crib is near our bed and at this time (until we move) she has to be in a room with us. She also is able to get her leg over the side of the crib and my concern is that she would fall out if she were to be in the room alone to fall asleep. However, she has never fallen asleep on her own. We’ve been thinking of moving her to a toddler bed but I’m not sure that would help much. She LOVES to be in our bed. However, she only sleeps a “little” better. She will still toss and turn, climb and wake numerous times a night to find comfort, her binky or breastfeed. I have tried offering her water or milk out of a cup but it does not help her. She also will throw her binky and demand the breast. She will fight her sleep for hours. She will fuss or just climb and pull at me. She doesn’t want comfort from daddy…just me. She can be sound asleep in my arms and as soon as I lay her in her crib she wakes and says “up”. I have tried music, white noise, a wall projector. I have tried patting and rubbing her back, playing with her hair, rocking, singing, standing but it seems all that works is to fall asleep at the breast and sleep in my arms. Her latest thing is to have her hands and arms filled with toys, baby dolls and stuffed animals. If she drops one while even half asleep she’ll wake and the process starts all over again. Her bed time isn’t too consistent as it varies when she’s ready to go to sleep. Her nap schedule varies day to day as well. She has cut the majority of her teeth. It doesn’t seem to make a difference if she has a bath before bedtime either. I would say on average she awakes 8-15 times a night. Sometimes it’s every hour or two sometimes it’s every few minutes. I greatly appreciate your time reading this and “any” advice you have would be SO greatly appreciated! “Thank You”

  14. My 1 year old sleeps through the night 12 hours, and (used to) take 2 naps on his own during the day. Right after he turned one however, he has been strongly protesting his second nap. I don’t know what to do because he seems too young to drop the second nap, but he hasn’t taken a second nap in about 2 weeks. Usually I do a short naptime routine, and put him in his crib and tell him it’s “sleepytime.” I usually lay him down after he has been up for about 2-3 hours and just after a snack. He goes right down for his first nap and used to for the second one. But now he starts screaming immediately after I put him in his crib in the afternoon. I usually let him cry from anywhere between 15 minutes and an hour, and go in and get him after I can’t take anymore. He goes to bed at around 5:30pm and wakes up around 6am. He takes about a one hour nap in the morning. If you could please give me some guidance on this I would really appreciate it! I can’t take this crying anymore and he is so exhausted and delirious by bedtime that he’s miserable! Thanks!

  15. Our 24 month daughter old goes to bed great every night and is usually sleeping by 7:45pm. She stays in her bed throughout the night as well. Our issue is at 5:15am every morning when she decides she is ready to get up for the day. She refuses to go back to sleep and is very crabby by 8am. Please help!!

  16. my daughter was doing really great sleeping about 10 hours straight at night. then she started to wake at about 4 or 5am at about 5 months old. I figured she was probably hungry at that point so i started feeding a small amount. now it’s habit for her. is it because my breast milk isn’t holding her over any more? how do i get to that 12hours of sleep from here?

  17. Our toddler has no problem falling asleep in his crib at night. He is 17 months.

    The problem is falling asleep during the day. He will only fall asleep in the car or in the stroller, but it is getting cold to be outside with the stroller. I have left him in bed to cry but this went on for 45 minutes at the time and now he refuses to go into the room during the day anticipating the sleep time. Any ideas?

  18. my son just turned 8 months and has never slept through the night. he sleeps in his own room in his crib. i have tried everything there is to get him to sleep through the night but nothing is working. he wakes up just about every hour to every two hours and it takes him at least 20-25 minutes to get back to sleep. he sleeps in a dark room with a toy bear that plays soft music. he also uses a pasifier to fall asleep. when he wakes up at night he doesnt drink a bottle and will refuse one if i try to give it to him. he also when he wakes up he crying really hard and fights me when i try to get him back to sleep by patting his back.. is there anything i could try? im also 5 months pregnant with twins and its hard when i dont get enough sleep??

  19. My son is almost 7 months now, and is still not even close to sleeping through the night. we share a room with him but have nowhere else to put him due to limited rooms and space. also he has a daily routine and a nightly one he also falls asleep in is bed alone every night. The problem is that he wakes every 2 hours. he will NOT cry it out i have tried it ive went through numerous nights trying no feeds but nothing is working. i have a 5 year old and im a college student and taking care of him at night alone so im exhausted. HELP me pkease what can i do??

  20. Hey Dana:)
    I am currently expecting a second child and am having a hard time getting my 2 year old to bed at night. She will only go to sleep if I sit in her room with her and watch a movie with her. Sometimes it takes 1 hour if not longer for her to go to sleep.
    I have tried to put her in her bed repeatedly and it has not worked. I have tried to sit in her room for a little while and then leave but she always comes out and asks for me to sit with her.
    I know when the new baby comes along that it will be difficult for me to continue to sit with her until she falls to sleep as the new baby will need a lot of attention. I also do not want her to feel second to the new baby.
    Another thing that Edie Fay does is in the middle of the night she still wakes up and comes into our room to sleep.
    Someone said to practice tough love but I do not believe in letting her scream. I breaks her heart and mine.
    Any advice would be great full.

  21. My 16 month old has a bottle before bed, cleans his teeth then has a book or I tell him a story. When he is put in his cot he is still awake. He settles himself and goes to sleep almost immediately. So his bedtime routine is really good. My problem is he wakes up at least once through the night and will not go back to sleep without a bottle. He has to fall asleep on the bottle, which he only partly finishes, or he wont settle. I have tried watering down the bottle, giving him smaller amounts of milk and singing to him to try to break the habit, but he will cry until he has his bottle. As soon as he gets it he goes straight to sleep. He goes to bed at 8 and wakes between 7 and 8 in the morning. He is happy and relaxed during the day, sleeping for up to 2 hours midday. Can you please give me some advice on how to break the habit of his nighttime feed?

  22. my 8 month old daugther goes to sleep around 8pm. but then wakes up around 9 and is wide awake and I cannot get her to go to sleep and i can’t leave her in the crib because she’ll cry, (cry out does not work for us). she finally goes to sleep around 1am or so what can I do to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep. She wakes up two or three times in the middle of the night so I have to feed her to get her to go back to sleep.

  23. Our son is 4 yrs. old in the middle of the night he also comes in to my bed. Our daughter is 23 months and she too will come into our bed. I really LOVE this. My husband gets pushed out of the bed and sleeps in our sons bed. He dose not mind becouse come another year or so my 4 year old will not have any thing to do with sleeping with me. We like having a family bed. We know this is just a very small time period of our childrens lives and if this makes them feel safe in the middle of the night then let them come sleep with me.

    Thank you for taking a older childs sleeping question.

  24. My 2 year old daughter doesn’t like going to bed and fights against going to sleep. We would like to move her from her cot to a toddler bed but feel that we need to solve her sleep anxieties before we can do this. She currently kicks and screams as we place her in her cot, she hasn’t slept during the day for about 6 months therefore she must be tired at bed time.

  25. This is day 4 that we stopped breastfeeding cold turkey and my 20 months old daughter still wakes up crying.was this traumatic for her?we co-sleep.she wakes up 2-3 times at night still but we put her to sleep by rocking .when will she start sleeping through the night?

  26. My 13 month old still wakes up between 5:00am-5:30am. How can I get him to sleep longer? I normally put him to bed around 7:30pm and he still takes a morning nap and an afternoon nap.

  27. My daughter is just 6 months. She started sleeping through the night at just 6 weeks old. At that time I had given up breastfeeding and put her on bottle feeds. She slept from approx 9pm til 7am til she was about 4 months old.
    However, since then she has been waking every night up to 4 times, she doesn’t settle straight back to sleep. We had been feeding her milk but it was a struggle to get her to finish it so we stopped that about 2 weeks ago. She still wakes, doesn’t want a drink, hardly has a wet nappy and doesn’t settle even with us walking her around.

    My partner and I are literally at the end of our tethers and would really like some advice. We have a bedtime routine i.e; she has tea, bath, massage, story read to her and we put her down when she is nearly asleep. So what are we doing wrong during the night?

  28. 9 month old goes to bed at 9 only with bottle and wakes at12 and will not go back unless he gets any bottle,wakes up beween 5-6 in the daughter is not getting proper sleep.

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