Sooner or later, the time is going to come to move your toddler out of the crib and into a “big kid” bed. It can be an exciting time for your little one, but it can also cause some regression and disturbance in their sleep.
In today’s video, I have some tips to help you determine whether now is a good time to make the switch, and if it is, how to do it smoothly and minimize the impact on your little one’s routine.
Hi, Dana here. Here’s a question that is very near and dear to my heart and it’s when to move a toddler to a big girl bed or a big boy bed. And here’s why I love it, because I think most people do it too soon. And so I’m excited to give you some tips today to do it well and do it at a time when a child is really ready.
I don’t know why and I’m not sure if this is still the case but I feel like there’s a lot of pressure in the parenting world to get toddlers outta their crib and into a bed. And I don’t understand it. I don’t know why, because the prize should go to the parent who could keep their child in the crib the longest because that’s where there’s a safe space. That’s where they stay. There’s no getting out, there’s no game playing. There’s no door open to a wide world of wandering when a child moves to a bed. If your child is happy and comfortable in their crib, leave it be. Do not rock the boat just because he’s two and you think it’s time. It’s not time yet. I can promise you that.
The best age to move a child is the closest you can get to three. Two and a half would be my cutoff for how early I would move a child to a bed. Even if a new baby’s on the way, I get it. I had my third child. My second child was only 15 months when my daughter was born. There was no way that child was going into a bed so I bought another crib. No big deal. I knew that he was gonna be in that crib for another year at least. So I didn’t stress it. It’s nothing to worry about. I way rather have great sleep for another year than worry about the fact that I bought a second crib. So unless there are some illnesses, unless your child is jumping outta the crib unsafely, some can do it really skillfully, right? They just are like little ninjas. They just pop out of that thing and they don’t hurt themselves. They’re just skilled.
If that’s the case, then I would still keep them in the crib. I wouldn’t move to the bed yet because it’s just gonna get worse. It will get worse if you let your crib jumper move to a bed. So if they’re doing it, well, then we could do some consequences around like not doing it or not coming outta your room at least, you know, those sorts of things. And I’ll do a separate video on crib jumpers and what to do there. But hanging onto that crib is really, really beneficial.
The closer they get to three, then they can understand a little bit deeper how rules and consequences apply. They have the ability to think through a few action steps to think down the road a little ways and realize that, “Ooh, if I continue to get out of this bed, something happens that I don’t really enjoy and so I’m gonna stay in my bed.” And the whole transition just tends to be smoother and have a lot less upset to everyone’s evening.
When you do transfer to the bed, set the ground rules. What are your expectations for this bed? I like to make it fun. You know, get the child involved and picking out new bedding and make it special because it is, it is a transition. But also making sure that, “Listen, this is what I expect of you. You need to stay quiet in your bed. You may not get outta your bed. You have to sleep in your own bed until morning.”
Putting some sort of a clock in the room, an OK-to-wake clock. There’s tons on the market now. Just make sure it doesn’t glow. It shouldn’t be bright through the night. It should only be bright when it is time to get up. Can help, you know, “You’re gonna stay in your bed now until your clock says it’s okay to get up and that’s when you can come find mommy or daddy.” And then if you have a little wanderer, they usually have this honeymoon phase, I call it, where for a few weeks, it’s totally great. It’s like no big deal. They’re not getting out, they’re not fussing, they’re not coming to visit you. It’s all perfect. And you’re thinking, “Yay, we did it!”
And then about week three or four, that’s when the problems start to show up. And you get this little brave explorer who’s wandering out of his room or coming to visit you or coming in the night to visit. And that’s pretty common. So again, let’s nip it in the bud. Let’s give warnings. You know, “It’s not okay to come find me. Once I’ve said goodnight, you have to stay in your bed.”
If the little wanderer comes out again, now we would give a consequence. And we can start really small here. We don’t need to jump into this too hard. We would just say, “Listen, if you come outta your bed again, I’m gonna close the door all the way.” And then you just do it for a very brief increments of time, maybe 30 seconds the first time, a minute the next time, a minute and a half the next time. And just kind of start setting the stage that it’s really not okay to come visit. And if you do, there’s gonna be some sort of a consequence around that.
Yeah, so that’s my advice. Hang on to that crib. Celebrate the fact that your child’s still happy and sleeping well in there. And wait, wait on that bed. The longer you wait, the better it goes.
Thanks so much for watching today. Sleep well.