Hi! I’m Dana Obleman, creator of The Sleep Sense Program. If you’d rather read than watch, I’ve transcribed the text of this video below.

This week’s question is from Holly, and her 7-month-old daughter can’t seem to nap for more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time. She writes:

“I have finally succeeded in teaching my seven-month-old how to put herself to sleep in her cot. This is working well at night and she will then stay asleep. During the day, she does this same thing but only sleeps for 20 to 30 minutes. How can I get her to have a decent day sleep instead of these little cat naps here and there.”

Okay, we are off to a great start, Holly! Basically the first step is just getting a child to fall asleep on their own in the crib and goal number two is that it is for long enough. I do not know how long you have been working on it but I find that naps can take weeks to improve. Really celebrate each step of success; it is great that she is putting herself to sleep on her own for her daytime naps and the length will come. It just takes a bit of work and there are a few things you can try, to encourage her to sleep a little bit longer. It really depends on the baby; what works for one might not work for the other child, but I am going to give you both scenarios and you can try them out and see if one works for her.

The first thing is not to change anything before naps. Still put her down and let her fall asleep on her own for the nap but then be close by at the 30 minute mark because that is a tricky time during a nap. It is often just a little wake up in the nap and the hope here is that the child goes right into the next cycle and puts them together. It can be tough for them, so at the 30 minute mark be close by and right when you hear her stir, go in really quickly and quietly and see if you can just coax her back into another cycle even if it means you pat her bum a little more than you normally do, or you stroke her forehead, or shush her a little bit and tell her it is still sleepy time. It is cheating slightly because it is more than what I would normally suggest you do, but if you just do it at that little wakeup between the cycles of a nap, you can help her retrain her body to sleep for longer periods of time
You will know if it is going to work because it is going to work within the first five minutes you are in there.

If that does not work after five minutes and she is now really awake and does not look like she is going to go back to sleep, go ahead and get her up. There is not much else you can do. She’s had a catnap and is not going to be as tired. If you try to wait her out, you could be waiting a long time. So give that a try.

The other option is to not go in at all. If she wakes up after 20 minutes, and you just think that is not long enough, then try to let her go back to sleep. You can give her a good 10 to 15 even 20 minutes before you go in. Maybe you poke your head in just to make sure she looks like she is all right. Just give her a good solid chance to go back to sleep. She may or she may not and if she does not, then just go ahead and get her up. One thing to keep in mind is that as frustrating as it is, you cannot force a child to sleep if they are not going to sleep.

You can just make sure the timing is right, make sure you give them every opportunity to take a great nap and the rest is up to them and the good news is that it will come. It just takes a bit of work.

Thanks for your question and really celebrate your success! You have done a great job so far Holly, so keep it up and sleep well.