Hi, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video blog. Today I want to talk a little bit about daycare.

I get a lot of letters and emails from people wondering what to do when their child starts daycare, and especially if you have a Sleep Sense graduate on your hands who sleeps really well and takes awesome naps, can be a little bit worrisome to think about somebody else taking that over.

First I want to talk about a few things that you should be looking for when you’re interviewing daycares. You really should be shopping around. This is important stuff. This is somebody who’s going to be in charge of your child for a majority of the week. You really want to feel comfortable with who you choose.

When you’re doing an interview process with your daycare provider, really focus on naps. When do the kids nap? Is there structure around nap time? Where will your child be able to nap? What do they do if there’s any kind of protest? Really understand what happens at naps.

A lot of daycares have really little structure around nap time, or if kids fall asleep in the stroller, they call that the nap, and so on. If your child’s not on the same schedule that the daycare has for their naps, then you need to either get ready before you send baby to daycare or find a different one.

Now a lot of people run into problems around the one nap‑a‑day. Most daycares are on a one nap‑a‑day schedule, and that tends to start around the first birthday. If you’ve got a 10‑month‑old, 11‑month‑old and you’re looking down the road to daycare starting around the first birthday, and the one nap‑a‑day is their protocol, then you want to start getting your child ready for that.

Start transitioning into one nap‑a‑day at least four weeks before daycare starts. So that by the time she gets there she’s used to that. Her body clock’s had time to get in line with it, and she should do fairly well once she gets to daycare. All right?

It’s also a very good idea that you communicate clearly with your daycare provider about what your expectations are in regards to sleep.

When my kids were starting daycare, I would say, “Listen, she goes down for her nap around noon. She is very good at putting herself to sleep. Therefore, I don’t want you to rock her, or feed her, or do anything else. She has great skills. You just sing this little song to her and you put her in the crib, and she’s fine as long as it’s dark enough and quiet enough that she can sleep.”

Once I’ve communicated that, great, my daycare provider knows exactly what I expect, that she’s a good sleeper. Now there might be a little bit of protest around somewhere new. I would be clear, again, communicating that that if she cries a bit before nap, I’m OK with that.

I mean, if I’m in charge of your child, then I have no idea whether or not you’re OK with some crying or you’re not. I’m not going to let your child cry. If I’ve explained first that it’s OK with me, that I would prefer her to fall asleep independently. If she cries a bit before nap, that that’s OK with me because she’s getting used to a new location.

Again, most daycare providers will get on board with that because it’s their job. You’re the boss, so what you say should be the way they follow things.

If on the rare chance that they won’t, and some won’t. If they’ve got a bunch of babies in the same room and they don’t want yours crying at all. So they’re going to rock him to sleep or give him a bottle until he falls asleep, I would find a new daycare. I would. That’s personally what I would do, because it’s very important to me that my children sleep well.

However, I have had people say, “You know what? It took me six months to get into this daycare. I really don’t want to switch.” Then there is a chance that your baby will do OK still. A lot of babies can keep the two worlds separate.

What happens at daycare is one thing. What happens at home with mom and dad is something different. If she’s rocked to sleep, during the day at daycare, she won’t expect the same things at home. That’s about a 50/50 chance. It could go the total opposite direction in that she’s used to being rocked to sleep at nap time and now is expecting that at bedtime, and you’re having lots of trouble and/or protest.

I guess my real piece of advice in all this, is interview well before you even start in the daycare. Understand that there will be a transition time. I can remember my own children didn’t sleep as well at daycare as they did at home. I just had to accept that. I mean, it’s noisier. The environment’s different. I had to get OK with that. But I would make sure that the schedule is close or get my child ready for that.

Ultimately, keep in mind you are the boss of this child. If they’re not going to do what you say and you’re banging your head against the wall with the daycare provider, then find a new daycare.

You want to be comfortable. You need to know and feel secure that they’re doing the best job with your child. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Thanks for watching today. Sleep well.